Sooner or later everyone thinks about quitting the martial arts. This is an inflection point in your training where you either recommit or leave. This article will help you understand your situation so that you make the right choice.
One day Joseph, one of Sensei Mike’s students, came to him with a concern. Sensei Mike invited Joseph into his office and asked him to take a seat.
Joseph explained that after training for about two years, he was feeling discouraged. Even though he attends 3+ classes per week, Joseph said that he felt that he wasn’t progressing and he worried that his peers no longer wanted to train with him. Joseph also admitted to having trouble memorizing techniques. He added that all of these things were stressing him out.
Joseph went on to say that he didn’t like being judged by his instructors and peers, and that the constant criticisms he was receiving from his instructors was affecting his self-confidence. And, because of all of the stress and criticisms, he was thinking of quitting.
Joseph asked Sensei Mike what he could do to deal with these concerns.
Sensei Mike looked at Joseph and said, “Joseph, you have reached an inflection point in your training where you will either recommit to your training or you will likely quit. If you recommit, you will probably start making excellent progress. If you don’t, you will probably just leave.”
Sensei Mike then asked, “Which option do you want to discuss?”
Joseph took a deep breath, looked at Sensei Mike and said, “I want to keep training. But I also want to speed up my progress. How do I do that?”
“Good.” said Sensei Mike.
After a long pause Sensei Mike asked, “Joseph, have you ever heard the story of the Gateless Gate?”
Joseph looked confused. He said, “No, Sensei. I don’t understand. What is a Gateless Gate? That doesn’t make sense.”
Sensei Mike answered. “The story of the Gateless Gate is a Zen teaching that helps people to understand and overcome mental obstacles. Would you like to hear it?”
Joseph nodded.
Sensei Mike continued: “A Gateless Gate is a barrier that exists only in your mind. Even though it doesn’t exist in the physical world, it appears to you as solid, as real, and as difficult to overcome as a large physical gate. The challenge for you is this, you know that the thing you want is on the other side of the gate, but you don’t know how to open the gate.”
“Why is it called a Gateless Gate?” Sensei Mike asked rhetorically. “Because your Gateless Gate doesn’t exist in the physical world. It exists only in your mind.”
“To pass through a real gate, you can open it, go around it, or break it down. The only way to pass completely through a Gateless Gate is to destroy it.”
Your Past and Future Self
After a short pause, Sensei Mike followed with, “A Gateless Gate is a mind that holds on to two separate views, and can’t decide between them. The side of the gate that you are currently on is your familiar but undesired current self. The side of the gate that you want to be on is your unfamiliar but highly desired future self, with all of its knowledge and accomplishments. Your gate is the mental obstacle that functions to prevent you from abandoning the habits and views of your old self, and cultivating and practising the habits and views of your new self.”
Sensei Mike continued. “Said more simply, your Gateless Gate functions to separate who you currently are from who you are trying to become. Who you are is strongly influenced by insecurities, fear, and self-doubt, including:”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“What if I’m not good enough?”
“What if it is too hard?”
“Why am I not making progress?”
“Why am I always stressed?”
“Why do my instructors always yell at me?”
“This mode of thinking is induced by fear, including the fear of what other people think, and the fear of the unknown. These fears are just thoughts that act as obstacles that impede your progress.”
Fear Is Just a Tool
“But, fear isn’t always an obstacle. Sometimes it is a motivator.”
“Our past fears and the thought of overcoming them are one of the main reasons why people join a dojo.”
“Fear isn’t inherently either an obstacle or a motivator. Fear is just a tool. When you use a tool skilfully, you make good choices that lead to wanted outcomes. When you use a tool unskillfully, you make poor choices that lead to unwanted outcomes. The fact that you joined our dojo means that you knew, even before you joined, that freedom from fear was possible, and that attaining it was a worth the effort.”
“When people come to our dojo, they observe the skill, power, and intensity of our senior black belts. They see by example that freedom from fear is possible, and that the practice of the martial arts is a pathway that leads to the abandonment of fear.”
Change Your Mind to Change Your Reality
“Martial artists abandon fear by cultivating confidence, determination, and an indomitable spirit through many years of patient and persistent practice and effort. As you cultivate these qualities, you too will transform yourself from the person you are into the person you want to become.”
“You are on a journey of self-transformation. And to do that, you must willingly step through your own, personal Gateless Gate.”
“To do that, you must learn to take your attention away from the fears and doubts of your old self, and instead focus your attention, determination, and energy on learning and practising the thoughts, feelings, and skills of your new self. By doing this, you gently abandon your old self-identity, and replace it with your new self-identity. You and only you can forge your new self through your own efforts. All your instructors can do is to point the way.”
“You are now at this inflection point. Your task is to begin this conscious transformation from the old, familiar, but unwanted you, into the new you… a you that is positive, focused, and unshakable.”
“To do that, you must change your mind. If I can suggest… Instead of thinking:”
“What if others don’t like me?” You should think, “Who cares? I am only here to train, so I will train my hardest in every class.”
“What if I’m not good enough?” You should think, “Who cares? I know that if I keep pushing myself, I will continue to improve.”
“What if it is too hard?” You should think, “Who cares? I will try my best in every class while remaining mindful that some days will be better than others. Through patient, persistent effort over time, I will get stronger, faster, and better. I will eventually overcome obstacles that today seem impossible.”
“Why am I not making progress?” You should think, “Who cares? I did not join this club for belts, recognition, or validation. I joined it to abandon my fear and to transform myself into the person I know I can become. Slow progress is still progress, and progress is my primary goal. As I train, belts, recognition, and validation may come, but my progress is guaranteed.”
“What do I do to manage my stress?” You should think, “Who cares? Focusing on stress only wastes my energy and gives me more stress. Instead, I should learn to channel the energy I was wasting on stress into my training. This will help me develop even more power and focus so I can progress much more quickly.”
“Why does Sensei always yell at me and correct me?” “You should understand that, from an Eastern martial arts perspective, being yelled at in class is one of the best compliments your instructors can give you! Why? Because it means that your instructors see that you can try even harder and do even more than you currently think possible. This motivation is exactly what you need to break through obstacles. When an instructor yells at you, they are expressing their confidence in you. By doing this, your instructors are pointing the way.
Sensei Mike continued. “When you practice with these new attitudes, you let go of your old fear-based way of thinking that is holding you back. You transform your way of thinking by adopting new positive thoughts, motivations, intentions, and actions that move you quickly toward your training goals. This is the way to break through your Gateless Gate.”
“In time, all of your past worries and fears will evaporate into the nothing that they always were, and you will be completely free of them. This is how you transform yourself from the person you were into the person we both know you can become.”
“One more thing… It is impossible to power your way through a Gateless Gate. That just energizes it and makes it stronger. The only way to destroy a Gateless Gate is to gently abandon the thoughts, beliefs and attitudes you used to create it. When you do this, the gate first starts to weaken, then it atrophies, and ultimately it dissolves and you are free of it.”
Sensei Mike looked at Joseph and said, “Joseph, do you understand? Can you do this?”
Joseph looked at Sensei Mike, bowed his head and said, “Yes, Sensei. Thank you for explaining this to me. It all makes sense now. Progress is my goal, so I will put your advice into practice. I will always try my best and I will never quit.”
Sensei Mike replied, “Well done Joseph. I know you can do it. I am really looking forward to watching you grow!”
Zensei
Peace
Eastern Wisdom
Though one should conquer in battle, thousands upon thousands of men, yet he who conquers himself is (truly) the greatest in battle.
